2021
WHEN:
2021
HOW:
I exist as if in an endless tide. In and out of my center, in and out of the life force inside me. My navel draws all my light. I hold the space around, the periphery is dense and tight: my home, my family, the blond curls of my son. I am focused, be present, love what there is and not what there isn't- Practice doing just that, commit to just doing that, be whole doing just that. Can I and for how long? Movement is heavy when I breathe but light so light when I dance, when I forget when I feel my feet and trust their rhythm and connection to the earth. Be sure to notice I tell myself, when the light is present, be sure to care for things that matter and for the thin crystal light that your movement leaves, traces of your soul and eyes, the contour lines of your dreams.
WHERE:
I am here. Which is nowhere and anywhere at the same time.
I am there, which is the landscape of my childhood, my longing and the things my heart misses: true and meaningful friendships, fig and olive trees. A father and a mother and love that translates into actions.
I am where my fantasies travel until they come back.
I am in my body.
I am in the present, plans and desires for the future, remembering the past.
WHAT:
I am waiting for my yet to be born next child.
I am anticipating.
I am hoping, praying, asking, giving as much as I can.
I love who I love.
I am being loved.
I hear the bus passing by and the gentle sound of the heating system.
I sneeze.
I breathe.
I am afraid of being sick.
I am digesting the soup that my love made for me, while drinking ginger lemon and honey tea which always reminds me of India.
I sit on the sofa by the window in my current bedroom, my feet touch the surface of the bed underneath me.
WITH WHOM:
By myself at this moment. Though not quit by myself as there is another life inside of me. I don’t know her or him (we haven't officially met yet) but I know I love and care for them. I carry this life inside of me together with a deep connection to mother nature, womanhood (my internal feminine organs and the receptive core of my being) and a sense of belonging to something greater than me.
I am with my two men.
I am with God. A spirit. My guarding and guiding angel.